I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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