so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
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He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
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im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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