Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
