..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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