Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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