Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We have started to decorate penises.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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