I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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