literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
