Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
