someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
