I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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