i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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