everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
