I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
