Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
