I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
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I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.