I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.