Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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