You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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