Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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