and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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