If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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