i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
