Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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