Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
