you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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