i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We are two peas in an std pod
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
