I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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