So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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