no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
