i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
