babies were throwing up all over the place
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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