Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
