His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
