OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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