Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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