I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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