I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
