party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
