I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize