he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
