Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
