I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
