I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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