my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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