I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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