Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
