Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize