well I can't set my house on fire every night
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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