well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize