Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
