If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
