im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he puts the penis in happiness.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
