wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm getting married
To pizza
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
