also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
