in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
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i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
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Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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