Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
